Who Are You, I Really Wanna Know

Confession time. I’m not trying to be cute with my blog post titles. The vast majority of them are lines from songs, titles from songs or plays on lines from movies. This is not to be cute. This is how my brain draws parallels between what I’m learning in the spirit or the abstract and how it applies in the natural. Said differently, it’s my own personal mnemonic device.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.

I’ve been thinking a lot about identity lately. Claire and I seem to be on similar paths in this season of our lives. Our conversations seem to always circle back to identity. The dreams I wake up remembering all have this component that relates to identity. We even attended a seminar this past weekend where the focus was on identity from God’s perspective. I’ve decided to go with it. If this is the area God wants me to focus on right now, that’s where I’ll focus my time and effort.

I’m not new to the idea of identity. In my graduate work in psychology we discussed theories of personality and core identity. How when behavior deviates from how a person presents themselves you have a window into where there may be hurts, distorted beliefs, mental illness, or potential gaps in a person’s development and internal integration, or a window into what that person really believes. For example, if I say I love and respect my parents, but am always mocking their decisions or putting down their beliefs, then I either have a very distorted and disturbing view of love and respect that needs to be addressed, or I’m showing you my true colors and I really don’t respect my parents at all. Or something in between. Either way, something needs to be addressed so my beliefs and my behaviors can align.

It’s similar in the spiritual. What I believe about myself, about God needs to align with what is true about God and how He views me. It’s sifting through the stories I’ve told myself about who I am and letting go of anything that isn’t reality. It’s being willing to shed the labels others have placed on me so I can find out who I really am underneath all the labels I’ve accumulated over the years. And being willing to reclaim parts of myself I’ve allowed to diminish over the years.

After Saturday’s seminar, I had a dream that I was a superhero with a benign every day persona and a larger than life superhero persona. Then God reached down and ripped off my mask. He told me that when I wore the mask, I only wore the parts of myself I thought had value, that were accepted and admirable. The parts I considered strengths either because they were needed by others or because I believed they were what other people wanted from me. Everything else about me faded and became so very small no one could tell they were there.

When I wasn’t wearing the mask, those larger than life parts of myself diminished and these other parts of myself started to grow and develop. People who saw me with my mask didn’t recognize me without it. I didn’t recognize myself.

So when God took away my mask, I was devastated. I need it! In order to be what everyone else was telling me I was, I needed it, otherwise I was lost. No one wants to be lost.

Just before I awoke and the dream started to fade into the misty memory it is today, I remember God whispering in my ear as I was panicking. He said it was time to reclaim myself, to be reacquaint myself with the parts of myself I’ve let go in order to live up to these other expectations, including expectations I’ve heaped upon myself. It’s time to meet the me God created me to be.

I figure in order to grow as a prophet, or to grow in any of our spiritual gifts, we need to really know who we are. This takes work. Sometimes difficult and trying work. But always rewarding work. Identity is the next step for me. It’s time to mine my inheritance words and the prophecies I’ve received and layer by layer dig and sift and dig some more to learn all about who God has already said I am. The answers are there, waiting for me.

It’s there for you, as well. Who are you? Who does God say you are? Don’t you want to know?

Advertisements

9 comments

  1. I just started following your blog- I love it! Encourages by your process. I just started my Identity work about a year ago. It’s painful, but such important and good work. I’m gobbling up everything I can by Graham Cooke, but haven’t yet made it to a conference.

    Keep up the good work!

    1. Thank you for the kind comment. Identity work is difficult but so necessary for a vibrant relationship with God, isn’t it? I consider Graham Cooke a mentor in these areas and I’m thankful he placed people like Claire in my life.

      If you ever have a chance to go to a conference do! If not, there is one conference in particular that is not on his website I think maybe a good one for you to listen to Graham’s sessions. Let me know if you’re interestedi n the information on how to order the conference. It has really helped me a lot.

      1. It is hard work, but worth it. I wouldn’t trade it for what I settled for before. I hope to be able to go to a conference soon, but which message are you referring to? I’ve do unloaded a bunch of his teachings- it’s like a breath of fresh air.

        1. I agree, Graham’s teachings are like a breath of fresh air, though they can also cause my brain to twist and turn as my past present self hesitates to let go for a present future lifestyle. 🙂

          The conference I think you might enjoy is the All In Conference. This was a women’s conference where Graham was a guest speaker. His four sessions from that conference have spoken to me over the last year and a half. They are so packed with teachings and grace and truth that I can see myself listening to them for years to come.

          You can purchase and download the MP3’s from the conference via this website – http://www.lutheranrenewal.org/

          1. Oh I totally relate to that. Why is it so hard to let to of those old things? Even though what is coming is better, I find it difficult at times to grasp how God sees me and then to begin moving in that.

            Thank you for the link! Ill check it out!

            1. I’m not sure of all the reasons why it’s so hard to let go of the old nature. Fear of change is one of my main reasons. God is working on my fear. And God is giving me a new picture of who I am. One I’m starting to see more clearly. He wants to do this for everyone.

              You can email me at runningparallels@gmail.com if the link doesn’t work.

  2. I agree. Mine is fear too. I just started reading “Beautiful Outlaw.” I LOVE IT! And I’ve recently begun asking Jesus to acquaint me with himself- who he really is. And for his perfect love to go before me casting out fear, so that I can begin to really grasp and cooperate with him.

    1. I must admit, I have put Beautiful Outlaw down to read Hijacked By Your Brain and another book on change management that I’m reading for work. I think my problem is I have an electronic copy and I want to make notes as I read, which is easier if I have a physical copy. So I shall purchase a new copy for myself.

      That is such a great request that you are asking! I’ve been praying something similar regarding God. I shall pray this for you as well.

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s